my generous God

My God is such a generous God.  It says in the bible   “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)  so I ask a lot.  I am going to admit I ask for generous good things and selfish "bad" things.  But my God gives me what He knowsI need. So let me explain. .. I am not "poor" so to say.  I am not "rich" so to say.  But I am blessed for sure.  I just had my third child, a blessing from God, and we planned, though not carefully, that I would stay home till she can go to child care at 15 months.  I am on leave without pay.  How blessed we are to do that, but I crave, desire, idolize things.  So I asked God.  Things mind you, not healing, or peace on earth or to be more like Him.  I have asked God for things.  I asked Him for a Bob stroller.  I have gotten it.  I have asked for Aden and Anais blankets and I got them.  I believe it is all because of God.  I do also pray for healing, and peace, and strength and patience all of which God also gives me, but I just wanted to say how intimately he knows me.  How he spoils and loves me like a favorite child.  He gives in to my every whim.  He is so amazing.  He is my Father, Creator, Redeemer and Friend.  He also gives me things as I need them, in His eyes and His time.  I also asked for sunglasses because I thought I lost mine, but instead he helped me find them and put several road blocks in my way before so I wouldn't buy new ones.  He is so amazing.  I also want a kindle, and for a while I was obsessed. Researching kindle, looking at it online basically idolizing the kindle, but I prayed to God, I asked God for it.  But I haven't gotten.  I know that this is not what I need right now.  Funny how my desire has diminished.  I am human, so I still look and it is the first thing that I see on the amazon page, but I know in my heart I don't need it.  Seriously with three kids who has time to read books?  But I know my God provides for me over and over again.  You should get to know my God.  He is so AWESOME!
thank you Jesus!
love,
Lori

blessings

I gave birth to my second daughter on January 4 at 3:20 am.  I was waiting a long time for her.  I was sure that she would come before Christmas, but then I forgot I asked God to please give me time to spend with my first two children before she came.  He answered my prayers.  Around Christmas time, I asked Him to wait again because I don't want to miss Christmas.... and so He did.  He is so faithful, listening to all that I ask for.  I am so blessed with a healthy baby girl, though I must say I was sure she was a boy.  I even finished knitting a blue blanket, but never finished the red one.... and I never finish knitting projects just start them.  I just want to say thank you God, for everything.  Especially for my family, and my husband who has really stepped up.  Just remind me when I forget.  It was amazing. Now that my life is chaotic, I just ask for guidance and time to spend with you.  Please help me to make you my priority.  I also ask that you help Eli to adjust to the new baby.  He is so awesome, but a little scared that I might forget him.  I won't.  I ask for extra patience and endurance as I lack sleep.  Thank you Jesus for all your blessings!
love,
Lori

blessings

Well, today I made it till the end of the semester and I did not go on bed rest for this pregnancy.  This is a miracle because for my other two children I was on bed rest for the last trimester.  I worked full time and I finished was the adviser for our Winterball.  I left early tonight, but it was a success.  We raised $3000 for the make a wish foundation and 600 high schoolers were able to go.   I was only able to do all of these things because God stood by me the whole time.  He is so awesome and fulfills all His promises.  At the end of this week I will have completed 37 weeks and my baby will be full term.  He is so faithful to me.  Thank you so much for Christmas and Christ's birth.  My husband has been awesome and supportive through it all and God has strengthened our marriage. 
This is not to say that I am not scared of being a mom of three.  I know that alone I cannot do it, but through Jesus I can do all things.  I just need to remember.  Often times my pride blinds me in to thinking I can do it all by myself.
I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!  thank you so much Jesus for sustaining me!  love, Lori

The Grouchies....

Are you ever so grouchy and you don't know why, but anyone in your way better be careful, because anything will cause you to lash out.  The victims of your anger are usually those you really should be loving the most or who love you no matter what, i.e. your husband and your children.  But why?  Why are they the target of your anger? Well, part of it is pure geography, they happen to live with you, but what is the other reason?  I try to blame hormones too, but I can't.  I don't know what it is.... but the past two days I have woken up so grouchy..... (grouchy is a nice way of describing me....)
Well, tonight as I sit grouchily.... at the computer. I know it is me.  I know that somewhere I am missing something in me that makes me unhappy, so I guess everyone else should be unhappy or atleast try to make me happy.  So selfish. I confess.  So my prayer tonight to God, is this
Dear God,
Please fill me up.  I am empty inside.  I am so sorry for being so mean to my husband and children.  Please forgive me.  Thank you forgiving me a family that loves me so much.  Please put forgiveness in my husband's heart.  Please help me to love them better.  Please show me how to love them better.  Please help me to be a better wife and mom.  Help me to serve them better.  Sorry for being so selfish.  Thank you that my children always love me.  Please don't let me take it for granted. 
Help me to be the wife that you write about in proverbs.  Change me God. 
love,
 Lori

miracles of Jesus

Well, I haven't written for a while, but I do wanna thank God for all of his faithfulness.  He is so faithful and true.  I am so blessed to be loved by Him.  He has changed me so much and yet there are times when I am ashamed because he has worked so hard in me and I revert to my old spoiled self.

 I just wanted to testify to a few miracles that I have not been able to share and I  need to give praise to God.  Especially now when I am feel so ungrateful and far from Him because I not He has turned away.... Life called me and I forgot.... I didn't forget but didn't give Him the time I should.  I am back to be with Him and wanted to share my praises.
The first is that about 6 months ago I was driving home to Mililani in rush hour traffic and my daughter dropped her blankie.  She loves her blankie.  It was a Thursday and I just couldn't take a screaming child all the way home.  It seemed clear on the freeway.... I was in the far right lane.  I reached down to grab her blankie and my car swerved out of control.  I couldn't control it.  I didn't know what to do.... I spun across four lanes of highway hit the median and was facing the wrong direction, but all I had was a bumped fender.  Everyone was all right.  I even had a federal agent behind me to stop traffic help me to regain my wits turn around and head home.  God is amazing. 

We were living in Mililani waiting to buy a house.  It seemed like forever, over six months and mililani although beautiful did not fit our life style.  So we found a fixer upper that was five minutes from both my husband's and my job and we could walk our kids to preschool.  It was a struggle during the search and throughout the fixing.  But it grew my faith.  We are so happy and we live so close to everything now.  It is amazing how great His plans are.

My last and final blessing is my current pregnancy.  We really wanted three kids.  We have been blessed with two children one daughter and one son.  They are awesome.  I sometime feel like I was being greedy asking for three since I had one boy and one girl.  but still.... I really wanted another.  But I am not sure about all women but most women are so disappointed when they are trying for a baby and they get their period.  Well, I am one of those.  Take the pregnancy test two weeks early cause I just might be pregnant..... well, I thought I was pregnant.... but then signs of my period came.... I was so sad.... I cried in bed... and I said, "Please God, Please let me be pregnant...."  I don't know what else.... but you know what.... my period never came and now I am almost 5 months pregnant.  Praise God.....
I just wanted to tell God thank you and share His amazing plans for you.  Through all of my being a spoiled brat and rotten He has been so faithful. 
While I am at it... I just wanted to say how He has worked in my daughter's life as well.  All last year, perhaps the first six months--at least,  of school Ellie would cry every morning sometimes hysterically as I dropped her off.  But she has changed so dramatically this year and she smiles and laughs and enjoys school.  We have been blessed with a great teacher for her and her personal growth has been so amazing and it has been all God. He answers all prayers. 
Just awesome.
So I hope to share more.... but just a small note about His awesomeness!

getting back to work

Going back to work and balancing being a teacher, mother, wife and I don't know random person in the world is so difficult. While I was out of work I was so blessed to be surrounded by a nurturing world of Christian moms, who have helped me grow in my walk with Jesus, but now I am in the world and it takes a toll on me. It is so scary to see what today's high schoolers are battling every day in their life. I know that prayer is amazing, but at times I feel so helpless in working with them. I mean I am teaching chemistry, but so many are hurting so much deeper than I can teach. I don't feel at times I am reaching most of them and the choices that they are making. Sex and drugs are commonplace here. I can't believe it. The reality of the economy also looms on the minds and hearts of the kids.

So if you are randomly free pray for the kids and teachers in your neighborhood. We need all the help we can get. There are kids with parents in jail, parents that just don't love them. I just want to pray with them. Show them Jesus Christ. Please help me to be a light in their world.
THen I am not sure that I am doing a good job as mom. but, I am stil lat school and now I need to fight traffic to get home. I better go. Have a great week! love,
LOri

searching for God

So my life has turned upside down and I don't know what to do about
it. So today I went to starbucks to look for God..... I can't seem to
find Him. I came armed with my bible, in pursuit of God and some 30
day knowing your bible book. Its not that I don't believe that God is
there. It is that I just can't seem to hear him. I am looking in the
bible, I can't hear him. Where is He? Don't get me wrong, the
wonders of this world there are so many proofs that he is here. But
do you ever wish he was right there sitting next to you. You could
just ask is this right and hear a clear exact answer. That is what I
want. Then there are things God is telling me that I don't want to
hear or believe. No wonder he doesn't come around. I have selective
hearing. But, I am not sure if I am hearing correctly. I am not
being obedient. He has blessed me in so many ways and I yet I deny
him. I am sorry God. Well, if anyone of you out there can hear him
let me know. I think I am on the wrong frequency. There was a point
a few months ago he was coming in loud and clear, but I didn't need
him them. I need him now desperately and I can't seem to rest in Him
or His plan. I lack faith. But, I know he is there. I believe O
help my unbelief.

Go Left

God is so awesome and wonderful and faithful! I woke up this morning
to my husband looking at houses and yesterday so communicative with
the realtor. WOW! Praise God. We are moving somewhere.... all I
needed was some patience and to listen to God and my husband. When
given the opportunity to do things his way he will do it. I was
thinking God is always telling me to go left, while I say I wanna go
right here to buy this, or right here and do that... my heart is not
obedient, I ignore, and outright disobey God sometimes out of fear,
and stupidity. So today, I pray that I am obedient and listen to His
will, I submit and surrender, without fear. Thank you Jesus!
love, Lori

Funny.... ha ha

Well, this morning I woke up and I asked God to humble me and to fill
me with the Holy Spirit so that I would be nice to my husband. When I
want attention or need attention then I make my husband feel bad so
that he is nicer to me. It is a weird viscous circle. I don't know
how to explain it... He knows this too... he calls it fishing for
attention. But to get his attention I am mean to him or make him feel
bad. I wanted to stop this today.... so remember I asked God to
humble me. So well, the day went well then as I was leaving the
parking lot I hit the car mirror it cracked and fell off.... I can't
drive with out it well, I can but it is hard and dangerous. Evan
acknowledges this, but and wants it fixed immediately, and will cancel
our house showings....... NO I don't want that. I want him to see the
windward side and see if that is where we are going to live....
sigh..... so stressed out driving home..... I wanted to blame him
because he rushed me I hit the column.  Or
it was his fault becasue he didn't take time to teach me to properly
drive the van. I don't know how in my mind me hitting the pole was a
result of what EVAN did. God is so funny... he gave me a whole car ride
home to reason with myself and to actually realize how dumb I sound
humble me before I face my husband. He was kind and so full of mercy.
God also gave me an out so we can get it fixed tomorrow and see all of
the houses. I hope it works, as I plan it, but I am sure it will work
as He plans it.
 
His plan is so not mine. Also I want to blame my thoughts and crazy
ideas on the devil. It is just my flesh and my pride. Humble me Lord
and he did. I also had outlandish, but real and feasible if it is
God's plan that He would fill me so full, with the Holy Spirit
like my friend Shayna. I am not ready yet. It is not God's time and
He also knows how weak I am to take the glory. I am so humbled and
blessed and thankful for His timing. Please God, Help us to open our
hearts and our minds to your plans as to where we will live. Humble
me! thanks!
love,
Lori